Who Am I?

Who Am I?

June 13, 2017 0 By fixedonfood

When I decided to give up dieting, I had no clue what to expect.
Would I lose control with food?
Would I ever eat a salad again?
Would I gain a ton of weight?
Would anyone love me anymore?
Would I still love myself?

I would compare it all to unpacking a very full suitcase at the end of a shitty vacation.

It’s not always something you run to do.
You might set it in the corner and pretend it doesn’t exist.
But… eventually, for the sake of your sanity and well-being, it must be done.

Along the way in this journey of life, we collect negative self-images, harmful self-thoughts and damaging behaviors thanks to diet culture:
At some point we stop believing we aren’t enough. At some point we start believing we need to do better.
And there’s never an end point- there’s always another level that must be reached before we’ll love and accept ourselves.

So when we decide to end this “shitty vacation,” we’re left with a lot to untangle and toss out.

It’s a bit of an exciting adventure to ask yourself, “Who Am I?” when you’re really ready to listen.

In the time since I’ve given up dieting, I’ve discovered a lot about myself:
-I don’t love salads. And when I feel like eating them, it’s usually because of the Ranch and cheese on top.
-It’s OK to eat unconventional foods for meals and snacks. It’s perfect (if that’s what your body is asking for), actually.
-I require a lot less food at meals to be “satisfied” than I ever imagined.
-I really don’t like cooking for the most part. And I’m currently embracing and honoring the “snack” instead of “meals” phase I find myself in.
-When I listen to my body about what I’m hungry for when I’m hungry, I don’t binge later.
-It’s OK to eat differently than other people because I’m listening to what my body wants and thus proving to myself that I will take care of me too.
-My size will not stop me from living.
-I forgot how to have fun for a long time, but as I rediscover it, fun living is FUN! And I am FUN.
-Working out is so much more desirable and enjoyable when I listen to my body.
-I don’t die or gain 100 pounds if I decide not to workout for a day or 2- this was a legit concern that flooded my brain for years.
-I’m still so incredibly loved at my larger size.
-I miss wearing lipstick. Fun, bright, “look at me” lipstick.
-Getting rid of shit that doesn’t fit is KEY to moving on in the process. Tags don’t define me.
-You can always, ALWAYS replace your clothes.
-They make some really cute clothes for all sizes of women.
-I feel better about myself when I wear correctly fitting clothes, especially underwear.

This isn’t an all-inclusive list, but it’s the biggest, brightest, shiniest points that have sprung forth in my movement toward freedom.

As I continue to unpack and heal my mind and body, I look forward to seeing what else comes forth.

Have you given up the dieting life yet?
What have you discovered?

Maybe you haven’t given up dieting… or maybe you have. Either way, this should be the LAST DIET you’ll ever need: