When you think of the word, “Purge,” what goes through your head?
Here are some of my thoughts:
Shameful, puke, gross, hide, laxative, eating disorder, sick, gag, containers (I watched a Lifetime movie where a girl stored her puke under her bed in containers and it’s stuck with me ever since), rotting teeth, smell, stomach acid…
You get my drift.
So when I stumbled upon something that told me my way of exercising was considered purging?
I worked out hard because it was who I was. It was how I was. It was what I needed to do to stay small.
It was NOT that perceived icky, shameful thing that I had heard about. I wasn’t that type of person.
I was HEALTHY. Not obsessed.
The truth hurts. And in a not-trying-to-be-cheesy way, it also has set me free.
It’s allowed me to see the error in my ways and right my wrongs.
It’s been the key to unlocking the prison that I was trapped in for so many years.
Excessive exercising is just as much purging as puking is purging.
Going for a short walk or lifting weights for 20 minutes is very different than 2 hours on an elliptical.
Moving how you love because it makes you feel good is very different than chaining yourself to a machine for hours because you feel bad about how you ate and are terrified about how it will affect you.
So how did I stop the cycle?
Well, put simply:
I stopped giving life to the purge.
I made up my mind that no matter how I ate (which has also proven to be effective in healthier food habits and choices), there would be no repercussions. It is what it is. I know movement is good and it helps me out mentally and physically so I still move… but it’s never to the point that it once was.
I see it all the time:
“I’m on vacation next week so I’m doubling up on workouts.”
“I have a date tonight so I’m putting in an extra 30 minutes on the elliptical.”
“I ate like shit last night so I CANNOT miss the gym this morning no matter how tired or sore or exhausted I feel.”
“I’ll eat that but I’ll have to attend an extra exercise class at the gym after work.”
(also, I’ve said all of these things)
GUYS. Let’s just stop the madness, ok?
This is not rational. You don’t have to workout in proportion to your eating. It can be so much simpler and more enjoyable than that:
Eat what makes you feel good, and like what you eat.
Move in ways that make you feel good, and like how you move.
Excessive exercise (or any form of purging for that matter) can lead to serious negative mental and physical affects.
You are not “taking your power back” after a binge by purging.
You are simply setting yourself up for more harm.
Setting the stage for another binge.
Resetting the cycle that is failing you and leaving you so tired and defeated.
So just stop.
Take your power back by REFUSING to punish. By REFUSING to save up. By REFUSING to do anything that is considered off-setting or righting or any other ridiculous mindset that you’ve bought into and tell yourself.
The true power is in saying NO to living a trapped and sheltered life.
The true power is in LIVING- a normal, balanced life.
Give life to your POWER instead of giving life to your PURGE.
Are you feeling stuck and tired?
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