300 pounds

300 pounds

February 2, 2017 0 By fixedonfood

Let me tell you how you might get to be over 300 pounds by the age of 16 (or maybe any age, for that matter):

YOU EAT.

Food becomes your everything. You replace emotions, friends, situations, fun… everything, with food. I can remember knowing that my friends were hanging out together and instead sitting home eating entire bags of Doritos (Family size, of course- I wasn’t messing around, and I had a LOT of void to fill) or pans of bars that my mom had thought she had cleverly enough hidden in the freezer.

As the clothes get tighter, your self-confidence gets smaller. You might put up more walls and stop allowing yourself to know love. It’s a lonely life, one that only knows a physical fullness. And usually that’s an uncomfortable-on-the-verge-of-sweating kind of fullness. It doesn’t make you feel good. And if it does, it doesn’t last. The moment of “pleasure” passes and you’re left feeling worse about yourself.

On the outside I was loud, “happy,” energetic, outgoing and… loud. On the inside I was trapped, sad, lonely, and completely defeated. I felt like I was riding a fast train to failure but couldn’t seem to get off. I acted like I was on top of the world, but the truth was, there were several times when I looked for opportunities to disappear into the shadows… to eat.

I missed out on so, so much. 

If this is where you are at right now, please read the next part carefully:

There is hope. You aren’t trapped. And you ARE strong enough to come out of the shadows and live a full life. One where you allow yourself to be loved by others- and fill up with that love. 

By stepping out into the light and out of the shadows of fear, I’ve discovered many new things that I now love instead of Doritos and cake and whole pizzas and candy. 

Love yourself  today- right where you’re at. Make just one good choice. I promise you it will be even easier to do tomorrow, and each day thereafter. Small steps lead to big changes.